Friday, 14 February 2014

Things I wish I'd been told earlier / Or that I'd listened to

1. Don't try to fix your wife - She is not broken! She is just wired differently to you. When she outlines what looks like a problem, it is just her way of sharing and processing - getting it off her chest if you will. When this happens, don't just jump in like a Neanderthal and give her a list of what she must do to solve this conundrum. Just listen and repeat back what she has said.

2. Pursue holiness - not happiness. I haven't found anywhere in the bible where it says "pursue happiness". Pursuing holiness and getting close to God may well result in happiness and contentment. It seems to me that the people who pursue happiness are some of the most miserable people on earth and the people who genuinely pursue holiness seem to be the happiest.

3. Don't date loads of girls. This at first glance, this seems like a weird one. Culturally, I would have to agree. When I look back and count the number of girls I went out with - I feel regret.. There is one girl that I really treated badly. For this I sincerely apologise. Looking back, the only reason I actually went out with so many girls was that 'it was the norm'. I didn't even tell my parents about most of them because I knew they would discourage it. They would have been right but I would have seen it as that they were old and out of touch. They weren't! They were sensible!
Taking that amount of baggage into a relationship with a good, godly woman who hadn't dated anyone before was such a bad thing to do. Despite all protestations to the contrary, I have been guilty as hell of comparing her!

4. Respect is more important than love! If your wife respects you, she will automatically love you. We have all seen women love real jerks in whom they have no respect

I still have so much to learn - Please God let me learn it well and soon....