Perspective Shift

 Whilst walking at about 0530 hrs every morning, I have been listening to a worship playlist that Anna and I compiled while she was battling cancer. There are some amazing truths in these songs and listening to them whilst walking in the dark is really helping to cement some of these truths into my head and heart.

I've noticed a perspective shift whilst walking - early on, my thinking was always focused on why has this happened to me? and this is so unfair! If God loves me he would not have put me through this hell! Now, through listening to some of these songs and reading God's word, I think I have got more of a perspective on God's heart.

I have always tended to see life as the be all and end all of existence. Sure, I know there is heaven and eternal glory with God but this has always been an abstract, esoteric understanding. Something, however, switched very recently. I was walking, crying and asking God "how come, if I'm an evil parent and You are not, You have taken my wife away from me and left me alone? If I could, I would take away all pain that my children feel..." 

Thinking this instantly brought to mind one of the more painful experiences my daughter suffered. Whilst growing up in our church - her best friend's family moved church, taking her best friend with them. This left my daughter bereft.

I was struck by the question, 'if I could have intervened, would I have done?' I pondered this for a while and thought "no - I wouldn't!" Her parents knew what they were doing and had plans for their family that I was not aware of. In the grand scheme of life, my daughter losing her best friend would not be the end of the world.

God's word says, in Proverbs 3:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding

Also in Isaiah 55:

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. 

 I do not know the beginning from the end. My wisdom is foolishness to God. Eternity is, well, eternal. Life on earth is short.

None of this takes away the pain in my heart, nor should it. If you love greatly - you feel greatly. Nor does it remove the tripwires that you can't see - the small things that leave you flat on your face with tears blinding you and stinging your eyes. 

Shifting perspectives

But God...

Changing your perspective from the earthly to the heavenly does give comfort. Hebrews 12 says:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

I often forget that we will be with Jesus and He is at the right hand of the throne of God!

Anna is already there and that, when viewed with an eternal perspective, gives me such joy. Deep joy that comes right from the depths of the soul and allows you, compels you even, to say that "God is good! He is in control! His ways are not my ways! His thoughts are not my thoughts! He knows what is best for me!"